dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Yeah. That's the conclusion I've reached. Why?

Because they do! )


So... yeah. Kinda annoyed by the "moms" today.
dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Lengthy update beneath a cut... )
dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Yes, yes, I'm a fan of B5-spinoff Crusade. And of Galen, the technomage with the lovely accent. That aside...

Who are you?
I'm someone who find it difficult to let people in. I'm a woman who never got socialized as a girl, and so spent my entire childhood wanting to play with the boys, because their games were so much more fun, and they got so many more freedoms than the girls. I'm someone who needs a lot of time to myself. I'm someone who builds worlds as a matter of course. I'm someone who likes to create.

What do you want?
I want a change of scenery. I want to stop going in the straight line I've followed all my life. I want to make a leap of faith. I want to go back to trusting my own ability to adapt as the need arises.

Who do you serve?
I serve my own faith, that people are essentially good. That people never get too old to learn. That we can all become better human beings.

Who do you trust?
My friends. My family. My instincts.

The reason I'm writing this, is because I reached a revelation today. In thinking about what I want, I realized that what I don't want, are the bosses I have today. Bosses with power over me, who are unable to learn from their past mistakes. Who are unwilling to accept criticism. Who won't listen to alternatives.

I'm better than that. I deserve better than that. And I'm going to go out and get better than that.

I'm me. I want change. I serve myself. I trust myself. And I'll make things happen on my own. Not today, not tomorrow - but soon. My mind's made up, now.

dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
So... Workplace woe strikes again, and now I need you, my trusted sounding-board, to tell me if I'm being too sensitive.Behind the cut, obviously... )

dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Okay, so... at the moment, things are nice and quiet and actually pretty normal at work. Which is nice. And paranoia-inducing, because I keep waiting for the next piece of descending footwear.

But... I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Also... I just want to say a great big thank you to my f-list that acts as a buffer. This is where I come to rant and rave and get stuff off my chest - so that I can go back out there and do something constructive relatively level-headed. And then come back here and get confirmation that I'm not crazy or uber-sensitive or anything. So... thank you guys. You are life-savers.

Here: Have a thankful McKay.
dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Whew! *takes a deep breath*

Just sent off a fairly lengthy mail to my two colleagues and the two bosses that are involved, where I - point blank - ask if my illness-induced inability to recognize work others expect me to do (but can't quantify or, y'know, talk to me about) is the cause of the trouble we've been having lately.

I know, I know... 3 a.m. isn't the greatest time to be writing something like that - but I just couldn't sleep until it was done, so... now it's done. And I really, really tried to keep it toned down and sober (not a big surprise to those of you reading my blog, that's not really my strong suit), but I think I mostly succeeded. Also, hopefully, mostly succeeded in not being too confrontational about the whole thing and centering it around me, my experiences, my emotions, my needs...

So... yeah. Basically asked a question and pointed out that if my supposition is true I see no alternative to me leaving this workplace ASAP, so they can swap me for someone they can use (although, that wasn't quite the language I used. ;-))

DONE! Thank God! That's a weight off my chest. Until... oh... 7 a.m. when I'll probably wake with a pounding heart and start worrying about whether or not they'll be insulted, feel that I'm a busy-body, feel that I'm jumping the shark... Yeesh! I need a sensitivity-transplant, STAT!
dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Today's one of those days where it's not so much the fear of death, as it's the thought that there are at least a few people in the world who'd miss me if I was gone that's keeping me from doing something drastic. Why, you ask?

Yet another saga of workplace woe... )

You know what? I don't care anymore. Here's my friday resolution: I'm going to do my job as I understand it, and as it's been explained to me. I'm going to do it as well as I can. And fuck anyone who don't approve! :-(

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dhae_knight_1: My kitten Zasha (Default)
Dhae Knight

June 2012

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